Unreturned
by KathrenCullen18
Summary: Kyoya is in love with Tamaki, and fears that it could be unreturned, but doesn't know for sure, all the while Tamaki is feeling like he is lost and confused.


Unreturned

I was sitting on the couch at my house with a certain blonde snuggled into my chest. I couldn't be happier even though this had been happening more and more recently. We were watching a movie, or at least the blonde was. I was lost in my thoughts and didn't realize when the blonde in my lap looked up at me, leaned in and…

"Mommy," A voice broke into my daydream. I looked up searching for the voice. Then I saw him, Tamaki, the blonde from my dream. _Ahh if only it wasn't just a dream..._ I thought to myself, _why must it be him that I fell for?_ I felt tired, I kept dreaming about him, no matter what I did. I tried distancing myself from him but I only dreamed of him more. _Maybe if I spent more time with him I would stop dreaming of him…. But then of course he would find out about my feelings…._

"What is it Tamaki?" I didn't look at him as I asked, my head turning back to look at my Journal. I started writing in it as I did so often while at school, I wrote about the dream so not to forget.

"Mommy, I'm bored." _Aren't you always? What is so different about it now?_

"Tamaki, I told you not to call me that…" My voice almost sounded angry, however, I secretly liked it when he called me by that nickname.

"But Kyoya, we are a family, and you can't have a family without a mommy and a daddy!" Tamaki said rather loudly. I was silent still writing in my journal. After a few minutes of silence passed Tamaki got up from his seat across the room and walked over to me. "Mommy is mad at me!" I looked up to deny what he said and my heart twisted. _He looks so… sad._

"No, Tamaki, I'm not mad a-" I was cut off by an excited squeal from Tamaki. He then returned to his previous spot. He was quiet for a few minutes and then seemed to remember that he was bored. "Mommy, I'm still bored…" I looked over at him to see him looking dejectedly at the floor. He looked up and saw me staring. I tried to look away from him but I couldn't I was caught in his violet eyes; eyes that I had been avoiding all day. He looked questioningly at me, and I shrugged my shoulders. This was just enough of a change that I could look back to my journal.

"What do you want me to do about it Tamaki?" I asked sounding exasperated. _Knowing you it will involve effort and for me to be there….. _ I shook my head at the thought still trying to get the color of his eyes out of my head. _That was really close…. I can't do that again…. If I do…._

"I don't know…" Tamaki then turned to look at the door to the music room where the other host club members had just entered. "Haruhi! How is my darling daughter?" he then jumped up to run and hug her. _Why couldn't it be me he was running to? And why do I wish so bad that it was? _ I sighed to myself only to realize that while thinking the twins had snuck up on me and were trying to read my journal over my shoulder. I closed it hastily, got up, and walked away to one of the private rooms off of the music room. The whole time I looked cold and angry, however on the inside I truly felt like I was falling to pieces. _What did they read? What if they read that part? What should I do, if I approach them and they didn't read anything then I would give something away, but if they did read something and I don't approach them they might tell someone?_ It took me a while but I managed to barely calm myself down. _The only way to tell is if the twins say anything…. Which they won't. _My glasses glinted.

I walked back into the room to see Tamaki looking almost exactly like he did before everyone showed up, Mori was looking at Hunny while he slept, and the twins were talking with Haruhi about one of their classes. The twins (mainly Hikaru) looked bored. Tamaki looked up and saw me, "Mommy, I'm bored again!" He had so much energy locked inside that he almost looked like he would bounce out of the seat.

"Tamaki what do you want me to do about it?" I asked again, my voice sounding impatient.

Tamaki looked stumped for a few seconds and then it looked like a light bulb went off. "Why don't we go on a walk?" Tamaki asked. _Yes of course I was right I'm being dragged to go do something… _and even though my face may look like I didn't want to go, just the thought of going anywhere with him by ourselves made my heart beat faster. However my happiness soon came to an end, "Anyone else want to go for a walk?" My expression almost wavered, but I quickly composed myself.

Mori-sempi looked over, and shook his head. He then looked back at the little teen in front of him. "Sorry Tamaki, but I have to help the twins with their homework." Haruhi said, trying to say no in a nice way. I looked at Tamaki expecting him to look sad but he looked fine. Good even.

"Mommy, you'll come on a walk with me won't you?" Tamaki looked at me hopefully with a puppy-dog look. _Why is it that when he looks at me like that I melt? Must it always be like this?_

"I don't know Tamaki…." I tried to sound convincing but I knew it was hopeless; I was like putty in his hands. Tamaki seemed to notice that I wasn't going to put up much of a fight because a huge grin spread across his face.

"Yay! Come on Kyoya let's go!" He grabbed my hand to drag me out of the music room. My heart felt like it would explode. The way he said my name almost sent shivers down my spine and his hand in mine kept sending electric shocks up my arm. _Why does it have to affect me so? How did he get this much power over me?_

I decided to just let Tamaki drag me on our walk. I hadn't realized that whilst I thought, my composure had disappeared. I didn't notice until Tamaki turned around and after a few seconds asked me, "What's wrong Kyoya? You look so… sad." I literally shivered as he said my name. Then I realized that my face most likely looked pained and sad. A leaf suddenly fell from the tree above us and whilst it distracted Tamaki I composed myself; determined not to let it slip again.

* * *

Tamaki's P. O. V.

I had asked everyone out on a walk out of courtesy. All I really wanted to do was walk with Kyoya so we could talk. He had been acting strange for a while now, recently he had been writing in his journal more, not really making eye contact when we spoke, or really even looking at me. He had been avoiding me (or so it appeared), so I felt the need to ask him about it. However, I hadn't really put any serious thought to it until today, when he didn't look at me at all even when he was talking to me. I tried to catch up with him after classes but somehow he managed to slip away before I could find him. I only really got to talk to him when we were in the music room, and even then he wasn't really paying attention, he was writing in his journal… again. Then Kyoya had disappeared for a while after the rest of the host club came in.

So that was when I had decided upon a course of action. I was going to almost force him to talk to me. Even if everyone else had come with us I would have found a way to get us to talk alone. When I turned around to ask him my questions I saw something that surprised me more than anything. Kyoya looked stupidly… happy? I had almost never seen Kyoya happy, and right now his smile was really quite… genuine. But when he saw me looking at him the happiness seemed to almost melt off of his face. He suddenly looked heart wrenchingly sad. I tried to ask my questions that I had, had but I couldn't get them past my lips. Instead I found myself asking if he was okay. I could feel him shiver as if from cold because we were still holding hands.

Before I could ask anything else or Kyoya answer my question a leaf drifted in front of my eyes and when I looked back at Kyoya the mask he normally wore was back. He wasn't looking at me anymore he seemed to find an interest in everything around me. He didn't even look at me when he answered, "Nothing is wrong, I simply was lost in thought." He smiled a smile that looked almost like a grimace compared to the genuine, sincere, happy smile that had been there only a few seconds ago.

I didn't believe him for a second. I knew Kyoya well enough to be able to tell when he was in pain, to see the hurt in his eyes. _Why is he keeping secrets from me? Maybe he doesn't trust me anymore, or maybe I did something to make him angry…? _I was almost spiraling from the pain I felt in my heart. My best-friend wasn't telling me something about his life even though I tell him everything.

I tell him when I'm scared, or happy, or any kind of emotion. I tell Kyoya when something embarrassing happens, and about when my grandmother treated me like crap. _This is the first time there has been a secret between us well except_… _wait, what? What am I talking about there has never been a secret between us…_

"Kyoya you're lying! I know you are! Why are you lying to me?" I wasn't expecting any response from him, and that's just what I got. No real response, he just stood there in mute silence staring off into the distance. _I just want him to look at me and tell me the truth! Is it really that hard? _I tried to move my hand and realized that I was still holding Kyoya's hand. "Kyoya tell me what's going on! You've been avoiding me recently, right now you can't even look me in the eye, and now you're lying to me! We are best-friends I tell you everything about my life and here you are keeping secrets! Would you please just tell me what's going on?" My eyes were starting to water, but I held the tears back. _I feel so… betrayed…_

* * *

Kyoya's P. O. V.

_Tamaki, you really are more perceptive than I thought. In one second you managed to see the pain in my face. I just hope you aren't too perceptive… that you haven't found out exactly why I'm acting this way. _I looked back to his face as he said that I couldn't look him in the eye, and the expression on his face tormented me to no end. I couldn't tell him what I truly thought or what was bothering me; he would never look at me the same way again. And that would kill me more than the look of betrayal on my friends face. My plan was to stand there silently until Tamaki realized he was being silly or until he realized I wouldn't respond. At least until he nearly ripped his hand from mine. I almost visibly flinched, like I had been slapped across the face. I suddenly wished I could go back in time to a few minutes before, so I could control my emotions better. _But I can't…_

"Tamaki… I… I can't," my voice sounded shaky even to myself, but I thought I had covered up the pain in it. However, I knew the shakiness would startle Tamaki because I never lost it like this. I could feel the tears come to my eyes but I held them back, and kept the glint of the sun on my glasses.

"Why not Kyoya? Can you not trust me anymore or something? What did I do? I could try to fix it if you would just tell me!" Tamaki really was crying now. The tears flowing down his face, but he didn't seem to care. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but when I tried to take a step closer to him he took a step back hugging himself. "Kyoya please just tell me…" I knew that if I looked directly into his eyes I would melt and do whatever he wanted me to. So I closed my eyes in a hope to get away from his violet ones. _When did he get so much power over me and why did I let him?_

"Tamaki, please just let it drop…" I was on the verge of begging him, my voice no longer under control. I allowed all the pain I felt to escape in those six words. I could hear Tamaki jump when he heard the anguish in my voice. I knew I was winning, but I also knew that he wouldn't let it drop that easily. It would be a conversation for another time. _Tamaki, please, just let it be conversation for another time…_ I then opened my eyes and looked into his to allow him to see the hurt in mine, however, I really should have waited a few more seconds. Tamaki's eyes were very powerful, and he knew that he had at least some power over me. Once I looked into his eyes I was a prisoner in violet. I couldn't look away and I knew I wouldn't be able to deny him anything. The tears in his eyes almost seemed to make his power over me grow.

"Kyoya, please, just tell me…." He sounded so defeated. I tried so hard not to try to hug him again.

"Tamaki…. I…. can't it would," I swallowed, "ruin our friendship." My voice cracked and Tamaki started to cry even harder.

He tried one last time as I expected him to, "Kyoya please…" his voice as quiet as a whisper of wind and it went straight to my heart. Something in me seemed to break.

"Fine Tamaki, I… I… what I mean to say is that I-" I was cut off as I saw Haruhi running toward us. She saw us and looked like she was about to turn around, but still kept coming. When she got closer she looked at Tamaki and saw the tears in his eyes, I saw concern flash across her face.

"Tamaki, the girls are at the club looking for you…" I could see in her eyes that she just wanted to back away from whatever drama was enfolding here. _She could not have come at a better time…_ I was so relieved that she had interrupted us…at least until Tamaki left with her, without a second glance at me. I suddenly felt really mad, but also crushingly depressed. _He left with her… he chose going with her over listening to me… After all of his pleading for me to tell him he just walks away not even listening to me…_ as they walked away I slid to the ground using the tree for support and cried. _Well I guess I shouldn't have really expected anything less….. _After I had the time to gain composure I got up and went to the limo. _It's a good thing I have my bag with me… _I got home a little while later and went straight to my room to cry again. _This is what having walls so high gets me… when they fall they crumble…_

A little while later my sister Fuyumi came into my room to tell me she was going to leave soon only to find me crying on my bed.

"Kyoya, I'm off to…. What's wrong?" She sounded worried. I sighed _she always can tell when something is wrong with me… but maybe this time I could get away with lying….._

"Nothing," I said sounding quite depressed. _Well there goes lying…. _

"Kyoya, that didn't sound at all convincing." She sighed, "Now, what is wrong." _Well if I can't lie about it maybe I can make her drop it…. _

"Okay, correction. Nothing I want to talk about."

"Kyoya, you know talking helps sometimes…"She tried to coax it from me again.

"Not this time," _please just drop it…_

She sighed, "This is about you liking Tamaki isn't it?"My jaw literally dropped. When she saw my expression she said, "What you thought I wouldn't notice the way you look at him or the way you act around him? You're always happier and trying to please him. You look at him like a blind man seeing the light."

"If it's so obvious why hasn't Tamaki noticed? I mean I'm happy he hasn't but why hasn't he?"I was so confused, I thought I hid it really well, but it turned out I was just lying to myself…

"I don't know… maybe because he is directly involved…?" she didn't sound too sure, "But I think you should go talk to him about your feelings."

"That's what the problem is, I nearly told him today but Haruhi interrupted us and instead of listening to what I had to say he left with her." I started crying again, and in between sobs I told her what had transpired these past few days in detail. It felt good to finally get it all off my chest.

* * *

Tamaki's Point of View

_Why did Haruhi have to show up right when I was getting somewhere? _I had wanted to stay with Kyoya so much, but I knew he would want me to go entertain the guests. As we walked back I tried to stop crying and Haruhi noticed.

"Tamaki-sempi, why are you crying?" _She's just being curious _I told myself, but at the same time I was kind of offended that she would ask, and I didn't want to answer.

"Nothing to worry about my darling Haruhi," I said as I gave her a very fake smile.

"If you say so…" She started walking faster.

When I got back to the club I looked fine and my eyes were dry. I entertained the ladies for a little bit before I realized Kyoya hadn't come back. My heart started aching for some reason I couldn't explain. I then left knowing I wasn't well enough to entertain the ladies.

I thought about going to see if Kyoya was okay, but I still felt hurt. So I went home instead. When I was home I thought about how today everything had gone horrible. _I wish I had stayed with Kyoya to hear what he had to say. He was so close to telling me what was wrong and I just walked away. I bet that made him feel like I didn't care… _But I still felt like I needed to go with Haruhi, and I thought that's what he would have wanted me to do. _We are in a business and all he ever seems to care about is making money…_

All of my feelings from earlier came back to me and I felt as though I relived the conversation…

"Tamaki… I… can't," My heart felt like it would explode. He sounds so… hurt. And I got angry at him. Angry for not telling me about… whatever it is he's not telling me about and angry at myself because I was making him act this way.

"Why not Kyoya! Can you not trust me anymore or something? What did I do!" I had started crying. _Why can't you tell me what it is? You look so sad and I can't stand it we're best friends and I… _Kyoya tried to take a step closer, breaking my thoughts, but I wasn't in the mood for comfort from _him_. I knew that if I let him hug me I would truly breakdown. I could see the pain in his eyes and the visible flinch and I backed away and hugged myself. Again my heart twisted painfully. "Kyoya, please just tell me…" he closed his eyes almost like he was trying to escape my gaze.

"Tamaki, please, just let it drop…" I jumped at the amount of pain I could hear in his voice. I had never seen or heard him in pain like this. _Kyoya… no matter how much you beg... I won't give in, I won't let this drop. _He opened his eyes again looking directly into mine, gray meeting violet. I could see the hurt in his eyes and I wanted to give in, but I was determined.

I kept my eyes locked on his while I spoke trying to get my words into his head, "Kyoya, please, just tell me…" _I feel as though my heart is going to explode…_ I stared into Kyoya's eyes as he fidgeted with his fingers. So I saw the change in them as though something clicked in him.

"Tamaki… I… Can't it would… ruin our friendship…" His voice cracked a few times and he sounded as though he was choking on something. _Like on a secret he won't tell?_ I started to sob.

I barely had enough energy to resist breaking down into wordless sobbing, but I managed one last quiet, "Kyoya please…" and I saw him crack. I knew I had won the argument.

"Fine Tamaki, I…I… what I mean to say is that I-" Kyoya broke off before he could finish, I turned to see Haruhi running towards us. _You show up now of all times! _I was frustrated, but I didn't completely know why… I knew part of it was because when I had finally gotten him to break she stopped him before he could really start… but there seemed to be more. _Almost like…_ My thoughts were interrupted by Haruhi finally 'catching up' to us.

"Tamaki the girls are at the club looking for you…" _Why NOW?_ I really just wanted to finish my conversation, but I knew the responsible thing would be to go back to business, I thought it would be what Kyoya wanted… I didn't look back for fear of seeing the pain in those gray eyes.

My heart ached and again I wished I could know what he was about to say. _Kyoya why does it hurt so much to think about you? Maybe I… _"Master Suoh, there is a call for you downstairs, from young master Haruhi."

_Sigh…_"Okay I'll be right there." I ran downstairs and rushed to the phone.

"Tamaki-sempi, are you okay? You left early and you didn't seem like yourself after I came to get you from your walk…" _I really wish you hadn't called me to talk about this… I didn't want to talk about this. _ever since the 'moving to France' incident shehad been calling me almost every day. _I think she likes me, but I don't like her that way… I used to but now…_ I sighed again and she asked, "Sempi?"

"I'm fine Haruhi, I just feel tired, sorry to worry you." My voice sounded surprisingly happy even though inside I felt like a tornado of emotions.

"Oh… Sorry sempi…. I guess I'll see you tomorrow…" she trailed off sounding unsure.

"See you," and I hung up. I was about to go back upstairs and sulk (the staff got freaked out if the saw me in my emo corner) when a voice said, "Master Suoh, would you like to eat dinner before going back upstairs?

"Yes I guess I would." _It's not like I have much of a choice, if I said no you'd just force me to… _So I ate in silence until my dad said, "So Haruhi seems to be calling an awful lot…" _that was so subtle it may as well have been a whale… _

"Yes, she has, hasn't she? I hadn't really realized." Tamaki replied nonchalantly, "What about it?"

"Well… I was just wondering if you guys were a… 'thing'" His dad said in an embarrassed tone.

"No, dad, we aren't a thing."

"Do you like her?"

"I think I might've once, but honestly I'd have to say no." My dad looked at me like I might be crazy.

"Who do you like then?" _Someone's pushy tonight…_

"I don't know, dad, I haven't really thought about it much." I said in an almost angry tone.

"Okay, I just want you to be happy, and when you came home you weren't…" _No I wasn't because my best friend has been lying to me recently._

"I'm fine." With that I excused myself from the room. I took a quick shower and got ready for bed after doing my homework.

I lay down in bed staring at the ceiling. _I didn't realize how tired I actually am…_ after a few minutes my mind started to wander.

_I really don't know who I like, how strange, normally I have a pretty good idea… but I do know I don't like Haruhi as anything more than a friend. And I don't like…_ I went through all of the girls that I knew not finding a single one that I was attracted to. I yawned _maybe I just don't like girls…_ and with that I fell asleep.

The next day was miserable. I hadn't slept well and I was really tired. I had originally hoped to find Kyoya and continue our conversation, but he was nowhere to be found.

I asked around and found that he had stayed home today. _That's really uncharacteristic of him… _But I just let it slide like he was sick. I tried to enjoy my day but I just couldn't. however I still went to the Host Club.

The next few days were much of the same, not sleeping well, going to school tired ext. But Kyoya was there at least, he was just avoiding me. I tried to approach him a few times but each time he disappeared by the time I got to where he was previously standing. He hadn't been to the Host Club since our argument and some of the girls were starting to worry about him. I had to take over all of his guests but there was no one who could do the finances. So about a week after the fight I decided I'd had enough of this and went to Kyoya's house.

As I approached his house I started to freakout. _What if he's mad at me because I'm forcing him to talk to me? _I was about to chicken out Fuyumi came out of the house. "Tamaki! What are you doing here?"

"Uh… I came to see Kyoya…" _why did you have to come out now? I just want to leave now…_

"Well that's good, he seems to be missing you. I told him to talk to you but… well you know him" _He misses me?_

"Yeah…" I said and looked at my feet.

"Well I'll let you go, so you can see him." _Well there's no getting out of it now… _So I walked to Kyoya's room an knocked on the door.

"Fuyumi, really I'm fine, no need to check up on me every five minutes. Go have fun!" Kyoya sounded exasperated like he had said this many times before. I didn't know what to do… _Should I stay here and go in or should I just walk away like I was never here? _

I was about to leave when Kyoya opened the door. "Fuyumi, seriously, I'm fine…" when he had opened the door he had his eyes closed and his hand on the bridge of his nose. Only now had he opened his eyes. "Tamaki?" he was utterly stunned to see me, but he didn't seem angry….

"Um… Hi… Kyoya…" suddenly I was really nervous.

"What are you doing here?" he asked with no emotion, _well at least he's not angry_, but I kept my eyes on the floor.

"Um… you haven't been to the club in a week… and I haven't really seen you so…" _why can't I just get one sentence out without sounding really awkward? _There was a question forming at the back of my head but I didn't really think about it, all of my brain was focused on the teen in front of me.

'Uh… yeah… I've been… busy…" He sounded like he didn't know what to say, but at least he still didn't sound angry, "Um… so… you want to talk or something?"

"Um… sure…' He moved out of the way into his room and I looked up from the floor to make sure there wasn't anything in my way. As I did our eyes met and the question burst from my lips, "Why have you been avoiding me all week? Is it about the argument we had?" I sounded more hurt than I'd expected.

"It…" He sighed, "yes, it was about the argument… well not the argument itself but how it ended…"

"Kyoya what are you talking about?" I was confused; I hadn't expected an answer so fast. Since I was still staring into his eyes, trapped there by some force, I saw the anger and pain flash across them,

"You didn't even stay to listen to what I had to say! Haruhi came up and you ran off with her without a second thought! I was opening up and you just walked away!" _Kyoya's yelling at me… he's never yelled at me for real. I must really have hurt him when I did that… _

"Kyoya I didn't… I wasn't trying to make you feel… like I didn't care about you… I went with Haruhi because I thought you would want me to go do business."

"You didn't even look back to see if I was following! If you had you would have realized I wasn't, so clearly I didn't want you to leave!" _His logic makes sense, I didn't look back… I didn't want to see the pain in his eyes. _

"Ha ! You've been keeping a secret and I'm getting yelled at for not looking to see if it was okay for me to leave! Yes normally I would have looked back to see if you were coming, especially after a big argument like that but for some strange reason I felt betrayed!"

"See this argument is exactly why I didn't want to tell you what I've kept a secret!" Kyoya sounded angry and desperate now.

"Didn't?" I know it wasn't the best response to his statement but he hadn't said don't…

"I… um…" he sat down on a couch and sighed, "yeah didn't, I didn't want to tell you."

"But… you do now?" I was unsure what his comment meant.

"Hm… kind of. My sister seems to think it will make me feel better…"

'…Are you going to tell me?" I was confused at how quickly our conversation had changed.

"I, yeah, I think I will," He took a deep breath. "Tamaki… I'm gay…" he paused for a second looking directly at me. _How ironic…_ Suddenly I couldn't help it, I started laughing, "Tamaki this isn't a joke, I'm being serious!"

"I know you are…' I tried to finish my thought but I was laughing too hard.

"Oh, great, just laugh at me that's fine," he said with venom.

"I'm not laughing at you, or at what you said, I'm laughing at the irony."

"What irony?" He looked almost hopeful for some reason.

"Well, a few nights ago my dad asked me if I liked anyone. I told him I hadn't really thought about it, but when I went to sleep I went through a list of all of the girls I knew and realized I don't feel anything towards any of them so I came to the conclusion that I'm gay."

He simply stared at me in mute silence, "but I will admit even if we weren't fighting I wouldn't have told you about it, I don't think." I frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because of your straight laced family. I didn't want to have to stop being your friend because I didn't fit the image. And hey you didn't tell me about this." His expression which had been some semblance of happy now looked depressed again. "What Kyoya?"

"That's not all…"

"What's not all?"

"There's more I didn't tell you…"

"Well tell me, and if it's as silly as this then it's just water under the bridge."

"Tamaki… I… I… don't think I'm able to tell you… but maybe I could show you?" I don't think I've ever heard him sound so nervous. He got up from the couch after I shrugged my shoulders. _Anything for this whole mess to end._

Kyoya came closer than I expected him to and suddenly I felt his lips on mine and his hands and arms wrapped around my waist. I didn't know what to do. _Should I push him away? Should I call for help? _ I didn't do either, I just stood there. Soon his lips left mine. He stood there holding me for a few more seconds and whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear him, "Tamaki, I love you, I always have…" Then he walked back to the couch and put his head in his hands. My heart was pounding in my chest but I couldn't make heads or tails of the emotions causing it to do so. After a few minutes of silence he looked back at me and said, "Tamaki, please say something, I haven't heard your voice in a week and I was missing it." _Well at least this emotion makes sense…_

"Then you should have come to the Host Club!" He flinched at my harsh tone.

"Tamaki… I couldn't, it hurt too much." He shook his head, "what did you want me to do? Pretend like everything was fine and normal when every time I looked at you my heart would race?"

"Yes Kyoya, that is what you should have done, because I'm not gay for you! I don't like you that way!" again he flinched at my words and he started to cry. _I don't even know if it's true…_

"Great rejected twice by you in the same month."

"Maybe you should have thought about that beforehand!" and I stormed out of his room leaving him to his misery as I sorted out my thoughts.

When I got home I still couldn't understand my feelings and like always Haruhi called again only this time I didn't answer. I just lay in my bed trying to make sense of it all. Eventually I fell into a blissful dreamless sleep.

When I woke up the next day I realized that that was the most restful sleep I'd had in a week. When I got to school Kyoya wasn't there again… and I knew it was my fault. My heart hurt a little when I thought of Kyoya… alone moping in his house.

"Good riddance, he should have known better…" I spoke my thoughts aloud.

At lunch Haruhi found me and asked why I hadn't answered my phone the night before._ She's getting really needy! And we aren't even dating! _ "I was busy." It was the only answer I gave before I walked away. I skipped hosting knowing I was in too bad of a mood. When I got home I did everything I could to distract myself. Finally I got too tired and fell into a fitful rest.

The next few weeks passed just like that, Kyoya was at school- which I only knew because people talked about how he would be in class and then suddenly disappear- but I never saw him.

After two weeks my routine changed because my dad called Haruhi over for dinner without letting me know. So I came home after going to the Library and found Haruhi at my dining room table talking to my father.

"Haruhi why are you here?" I asked as politely as I could, but it still came out somewhat cold. My patience with this girl was running thin. She called every night and asked if I was okay and then would find me at lunch- even if I was in a really obscure location- and talk to me. It also didn't help that I hadn't gotten a good night's rest in two weeks.

"Your dad invited me." She suddenly looked really happy so I assume that she didn't hear the ice in my words. Once upon a time her happiness would have made me happy but now… nothing made me happy. _I honestly don't feel anything except friendship towards her, I need to make her realize this…_

"Tamaki, it's a beautiful night, full moon you know, why don't you take Haruhi for a walk in the garden?" My dad asked. _But I don't really think it's a question, I think it's a command._

"Sure," We walked around my property, when we started walking back we passed a fountain and Haruhi stopped to admire it- or so I thought. I stopped to wait for her only to suddenly have her lips on mine. _SERIOUSLY! Twice without warning in the past three weeks? _As soon as she started actually trying to kiss me I pulled away, "Haruhi I don't like you like that. You are my friend, let's keep it that way." She frowned.

"Who is it? Who has your heart? I thought I did, but clearly I was mistaken…" She was trying not to cry.

"Haruhi, don't cry-"

"NO, I want to know!"

"I… I… don't…" then I remembered my kiss with Kyoya, I didn't resist then. Suddenly it all made sense. _All_ _those unfinished thoughts were about Kyoya. I… I… I love him…_ the realization nearly knocked me on my butt. _I love Kyoya! I do! This explains so much! Why my heart beats faster in his presence why I couldn't get him out of my head ever since the kiss, and why no matter how I'm feeling he always can make me smile, even if he's in a bad mood he can make me smile. I can always trust him…_

"Sempi, are you okay?" Haruhi asked now that she had recovered from her tears.

"Yes! More than fine! I'm fantastic!"

"Well then could you answer my question?" she sounded exasperated.

"Harahi, I'm gay and I love Kyoya," with that I left her open mouthed and ran to my limo. _Kyoya here I come!_

I got there a while latter. I had to sneak onto the grounds because security had been told not to let me in. _Oh, Kyoya, as if that would stop me!_

I was running towards the house when I literally ran into Fuyumi, "Tamaki? What are… Oh! You're here to… ahhh I see! Go run to his room I'll keep them occupied." She quickly hugged me and went towards the guards who were chasing me.

I ran to his room and threw open the door. "Tamaki! What are you doing here? Come to watch me wallow in my depression?" he sounded so bitter.

"No of course not Kyoya, I came to tell you something!" I was almost jumping for joy out of excitement.

"What could you tell me that I want to hear Tamaki?"

"How about I love you?" I watched his face as I talked and saw how my words affected him.

'What?" he seemed confused.

"I said I love you Kyoya!" A smile spread across his face only to disappear mere seconds later.

"You're playing with me. You know how I feel and you're playing with me."

"No, I'm not playing with you it's the truth!"

"You're just trying to make me feel better then." He turned away from me. _Why are you so stubborn! _So I threw reasoning with him out the window. I ran over to him and kissed him on the lips. He was surprised at first so he didn't respond, but he quickly recovered. His hands were suddenly around my waist bringing me closer and squeezing, almost as if to say "I'll never let you go."

His lips were warm and soft I felt Kyoya's tongue run against my bottom lip asking for entrance. I parted my lips and as his tongue entered my mouth I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure. Now I was hugging him to me also. My thoughts seemed to crumble more and more as time went on. I broke the kiss to breathe but soon our lips met again and a fight for dominance ensued. It didn't matter to me that we were both male, he was mine as I was his and I was happy. Suddenly I heard what sounded like an army of elephants coming towards Kyoya's door.

A man slammed open the door ran in and said, "Master Kyoya, Tamaki Suoh has somehow managed to gain access to the premises. We have yet to find him but…" That's when the officer saw me and Kyoya holding each other looking at him, "Um… it looks as though you have found him…. So… I'll take my men and leave now.." and the man ran away with men in tow.

* * *

**I'm thinking of writing another chapter... what do all of you think? it would mainly be the two of them coming out... so yeah, tell me what you think :D**


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